Remembering Mark Today

Mark C. Paine Servant Leadership Award

Dear Friends:

It has now been six months since the loss of my brother Mark. My family and I are piecing our lives together one day at a time. I read once that the space between taps and reveille can feel impossibly vapid. So have these months proven—and I am yet uncertain that the new day will bear any resemblance to the days I remember before October 15th, 2006.

In December, Jill and I traveled to Ft. Hood, TX to welcome Mark’s division home from Iraq. From General Thurman (Commander, 4th Infantry Division) to Mark’s interpreter and security detail who traveled everywhere with him, one common theme was repeated time and again: Mark was a servant leader.

As some of you may know, Mark was expecting to begin the Eisenhower Leader Development Program (ELDP) in Fall 2007—a specialized Masters degree for the Army’s future leaders. The program operates as a joint venture between West Point and Teachers College, Columbia University and accepts only a small and tightly knit cohort each year. Through his application, reputation and just “Mark being Mark,” his matriculation was eagerly anticipated.

Since October, West Point and Columbia have been working with my family to commemorate Mark’s legacy in some fashion associated with the ELDP and future students of the program. Today, we are pleased to announce the creation of the Mark C. Paine Servant Leadership Award Fund. The award fund will serve two purposes. The first is to honor Mark’s exemplary life and his dedicated commitment to servant leadership. The second is to recognize each year a graduate of the ELDP cohort voted by his or her peers as the best example of “servant
leadership”.

The criteria for the award are:

The ELDP student who has demonstrated behaviorally the manifestations of servant leadership:

• Putting others, in particular followers, and peers as well, first, that is, attempting to meet their needs and priorities, especially those needs concerning learning and growth, before one’s own needs and priorities;
• Maintaining a perspective of wholeness, a feel for patterns in situations instead of merely pieces and parts;
• Having foresight, being anticipatory and envisioning the future;
• Understanding the importance of spiritual matters in life particularly in relationships with others, being considerate, full of energy, courageous, and soulful all based on a clear set of values; and
• Perceiving oneself as a leader with depth of self-insight.

The recipient will receive a crystal Tiffany plaque engraved with their name and bearing the following inscription:

To [Captain or Major] [Name of Recipient] who was selected by his (her) peers as the one among them who manifested most the qualities and characteristics of servant leadership – putting others first.

A wall plaque will be mounted permanently at West Point bearing Mark’s name and the name of each year’s recipient. If funds permit, a matching wall plaque will be mounted at Teachers College, Columbia University. The first award will presented during the May 11, 2007 graduation for the ELDP cohort at West Point.


Contributions to the Mark C. Paine Servant Leadership Award Fund will be used to purchase the individual awards each year, design and create the wall plaque(s) and purchase the name plates, and cover the costs for engraving. The Fund will carry over into each fiscal year and all contributions will be acknowledged by the program.

If you wish to make a contribution, please make checks payable to Teachers College, Columbia University with the designation: Mark C. Paine Fund. You may send your contributions to:

Program in Social-Organizational Psychology
Teachers College, Columbia University
525 West 120th Street, Box 6
New York, NY 10027
ATTN: MARK C. PAINE FUND

The Paine Family would like to thank:

W. Warner Burke, Ph.D., Department and Program Chair, Edward Lee Thorndike Professor of Psychology and Education, TC, Columbia University for his leadership in establishing this award

Lt. Colonel Todd Henshaw, Ph.D., Director of Leadership and Management Programs, United States Military Academy, for sponsoring this award

Colonel Tom Kolditz, Ph.D., Head of the Department of Behavioral Sciences and Leadership, and Colonel Patrick Sweeney, Ph.D., Director of the Eisenhower Leader Development Program, United States Military Academy, for their support of this award

Deanna Siegel Senior, Ph.D., alumna of TC, Columbia University and currently of Tiffany & Co., for helping to create and make arrangements for the individual awards

Fred Delmhorst, Ph.D. and Orla Nicdomhnaill, Ph.D., alumni of TC, Columbia University , for helping to create the award

Lynda Hallmark, Social-Organizational Psychology Program Manager, TC, Columbia University for overseeing the creation of the fund

You—our friends and family—for your letters, calls and support over these past months
I hope in some small way, the Mark C. Paine Leadership Award Fund furthers his legacy and recognizes servant leadership in others.

On more than one occasion Mark reminded his troops: “Never forget who you are.” Brother: we will never forget who you were.

May God bless and keep you,

Brandon Paine and the Paine Family

Mark's Funeral Program

Witness to the Resurrection

A Service for the Praise of God
In Memory of

Mark Christopher Paine
November 2, 2006

Entrance of the Family

Prelude Blessed Assurance

Call to Worship John 11: 25-26
Invocation
Shout to the Lord
Blessed be the Name of the Lord
Wonderful Cross
Prayer of Praise
Reflections

Eric Benson
Wendy Weikel

Lord I Lift Your Name on High

Brigadier General Charles Brower IV, US Army Retired

Colonel James B. Hickey, Commander

I Can Only Imagine

Brandon Paine
Snapshots of Mark

But One Thing I Do Rev. Dr. Michael J. McClenahan
Philippians 3:7-14

Prayer or Thanksgiving

Let It Rise

Benediction

Please join us in the Narthex to share memories of Mark’s life.

God our Father announces the arrival of His child
MARK CHRISTOPHER PAINE
into His kingdom on October 15th, 2006

A Celebration of the Resurrection
and
Thanksgiving of the Life
of
Mark Christopher Paine
June 26, 1974 – October 15, 2006

Mark Christopher Paine was born June 26, 1974 in an Army hospital on San Francisco’s famed Presidio. Today, the site—long since retired from military service—is home to George Lucas’ movie studios. To know Mark was to know a life that was marked by service, joy, and yes — drama.

Mark grew up in the San Francisco suburb of Lafayette, CA.. From an early age, he showed an aptitude for outdoor sports and an intense fascination with history, storytelling, and fiction. As he matured, Mark became a student, a Boy Scout, an athlete and a leader. Throughout his young life, Mark showed a talent for amazing mischief that could only be surpassed by an equal or greater act of kindness. It is fair to say, Mark learned to walk a fine line of grace early in life and only mastered the skill as he matured.

It is not surprising given Mark’s talent and drive that he was admitted to West Point in 1993. He was quickly recognized for his unique combination of intellect and military acumen. When Mark graduated in 1997 he was already an officer in everything but title. And he couldn’t wait to get started.

Mark’s nine year military career was brilliant. He served in South Korea, Kosovo and two tours in Iraq. His list of accolades (including several of the Army’s highest awards for valor) are surpassed only by what he might have achieved with more time. In 2005, Mark assumed command of Bravo Company, 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment in the 4th Infantry Division. It was the penultimate highlight of Mark’s Army career; the ultimate rush—as he would often say—was to witness greatness in each and every solider when it mattered most.

Captain Mark Paine was killed in action on Sunday, October 15th in Taji, Iraq - the victim of a massive IED that detonated beneath his Humvee in a coordinated enemy attack.

Captain Paine is survived by his mother, Kairyn Paine, his father, Roger Paine, his Grandmother Joy Rose, and his brother Brandon Paine.

In his adult life, Mark was a selfless servant, bound by a deep sense of duty to our great nation. He was a naturalist who celebrated God most joyfully in the outdoors. He was a deeply committed friend who’s generosity and devotion knew no limits. He was a two-handed raconteur who wouldn’t let the facts get in the way of a good story. Most of all, Mark was a brother — in every sense of the word — who inspired us to be great, yet never missed an opportunity to seize a hug or evoke a laugh

In short, it can be said that the green, idyllic Presidio site where Mark’s life began aptly embodies his spirit. He cultivated heroism, exuded courage, and yet — in mind and deed — followed the example of a humble Judean carpenter.

Any comfort that we feel comes in knowing that Mark was not killed; he gave his life to Christ a long time ago. We like to think that on October 15th Mark was greeted like a favorite son on the 18th green of Augusta—surrounded by applauding friends and embraced by the Almighty with the only words truly worth hearing: “Well done good and faithful servant.”

Mark's Funeral Eulogy

N MEMORY OF MARK CHRISTOPHER PAINE
MEMORIAL SERVICE – TRINITY PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, ARLINGTON, VA
NOVEMBER 02, 2006

If you ever spent time with Mark, this moment would have been unimaginable. Part of the charm of Mark was that he was always in the moment. You never dwelled much on the past. The future would come soon enough--and certainly didn’t warrant much anxiety. For Mark, there was now. And Mark’s “now” was rich. It was vital and hopeful and contagious.

Tonight. Here. I would give anything—anything—for just one more of Mark’s “nows.”

Madelene L’Engle says that we have point of view, but that God has a view. I believe that. But one of the hardest things to reconcile from my limited perspective is that Mark’s training and experience and intellect was just finally catching up with his imagination. And those of you who know Mark, know that he could imagine quite a lot! As brilliant as his 32 years were, there were but a portent of things to come.

In the brief time that I have here tonight, I wanted to share what I consider the 3 pillars of Mark—the 3 weight-bearing columns needed to hold up that dome we called Mark Paine 

Mark The Miscreant.

One of my earliest memories of pain and disappointment came at the hands of Mark. When I was 7 years old, I built a Lincoln Log metropolis. It had highways and byways, city centers and mass transit systems… It probably even had aqueducts. About the time I had finished, I walked out to show my Mom and gloat a little, only to look over my shoulder and see “Mark the Destroyer” come through and wreck everything in just a few swipes. I was inconsolable. I think it was only a year later that I asked my parents if I could have locks on my door.

As Mark got older, he wisely understood that the best way to stay out of trouble at home was to befriend the police. They all knew him by name—and even let me off a few times because “oh, you’re Mark’s Paine’s brother…”

During Mark’s first tour in Korea, I asked him what it was like. He responded: “The Army is the best. It’s like the Boy Scouts but without adult supervision…”

I think that Mark carried this sense of mischievousness even into leadership. While in Iraq, he wrote to me that to do something worthy of chew-out from Colonel Hickey usually meant it was at least half worth it… One of his jobs in Iraq was to blow up weapons caches if they were found and Mark always used WAY more explosives than he needed. I think at one time he caused such a big explosion that it registered as a seismic event 70 miles south in Baghdad and Mark’s commanders started getting calls.

One of Mark’s heroes was Douglas MacArthur, who famously said: “It’s not the orders you follow that make you famous, it’s the ones you disobey…” Mark’s sense of self and right (and wrong) was deeply rooted in his belief that joy sits latent in every moment. Why not seize it?

Mark the Warrior.

Mark once jokingly said: “I joined the Army to fight the barbarians on the edges of the empire…” He was of course kidding, but he held a deep sense of adventure and daring that only a military life could fill.

Mark also loved living in a theater where the stakes are extraordinarily high. Napoleon once quipped: “Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever!” Mark was a big Napoleon fan and that was Mark…

Mark’s favorite tour (by far) was Kosovo. He was there to erect bridges, rebuild schools and broker deals between people that weren’t necessarily friends. Mark the warrior was really Mark the emissary and Mark the consul. But… if you ever chose to perpetrate violence on Mark, or his family, or his friends, or God forbid his troops, you were likely to experience a terror and reprisal so fierce that you would not consider that course of action again. Mark was a terrible enemy. But first, Mark was always your greatest ally.

As a student of history, I think Mark’s greatest dream was that he might be in a position to promote democracy or help accelerate change in desperate places. “Warrior,” he used to say, has a special meaning in the military: our ideas may not always win, but we can help create the environment where ideas—and not violence—win the day.

Mark the Brother.

For my 30th birthday, Mark sent me cigar humidor with the inscription “we happy few, we band of brothers…” from Shakespeare’s Henry V. What was most fitting, was that it had nothing to do with the fact that we share the same parents. Mark always reminded me of the things that we had endured together. Brotherhood was an earned experience with Mark, which is why there are probably 30 people here who would call Mark brother. When he left Korea, the South Korean Army through Mark a huge gala where the Korean commander presented him with an antique sword and open invitation to return “home” anytime. The past two weeks, I have received over 400 emails from people around the world who served with Mark, knew Mark as friend, or just met him in an airport bar (true story!).

Of course, Mark shared a bond with his soldiers that I will never fully appreciate. I suppose the part I can relate is that I often sat in rapt awe of some of the things Mark would do. He spent half of his mid-tour leave visiting widows and wounded soldiers. He would insist on leading patrols and missions from the front, even when he knew that the Iraqis had a huge price on his head. He was routinely behind on his paperwork because he just couldn’t stand the idea of his troops being in the field without him sharing the risk.

Often, I would just beam: “That is my brother,” completely mystified that we share the same blood.

**************************

Upon these 3 pillars of Mark the Miscreant, Mark the Warrior, and Mark the Brother rested the soul of a servant. Mark was a giving tree to the end. He held himself in deep humility. In fact, Mark was expecting to begin an elite Masters Program next year for the Army’s future leaders – a joint venture between Columbia University and West Point. This week, the program decided to create an award in Mark’s name for the person who most embodies what it means to be a servant leader. In other words, each year, a small group of the Army’s future leaders will elect a peer from their class to receive the “Mark Paine Award” for leading by serving. I think it’s an honor that Mark would have immediately deferred credit for, which is what makes it so apt for his memory.

*************************************
Just three days before Mark died, he wrote to me “Don’t ever worry about me…” with his favorite verse from Romans that Wendy Weikel mentioned earlier.

Mark was convinced—I will say it again—convinced that nothing could separate him from God’s love. And he lived like it. He served and loved and lived and shined like an heir to God’s kingdom.

In just 32 years Mark demonstrated that the measure of a life is incalculable if we allow ourselves to be an instrument in the hand of the Almighty.
*************************************
Last year, Mark confided that one of his favorite books of all time is “A Tale of Two Cities.” He loved epic stories set against the backdrop of history’s inflection points. The story ends with a breathtaking sacrifice. Sydney Carton bribes his way into the French garrison and switches places with his friend Charles Darnay with whom he shares an incredible likeness. Darnay—an honorable and good man with a family back in England—is smuggled out of France while Carton faces the guillotine in a final sacrifice for his friend. His last thought—and the last words of the book—could be Mark’s: "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."

Brother: I am going to miss you so much.
Thank you for showing us how to live.

Eulogy Posts

West Point

Guest Book

House of Paine Day - Oct 15th

http://www.kwtx.com/forthood/headlines/16145482.html

FORT HOOD, Texas – Squad-sized elements competed in a five-event stress shoot as their Soldiers pushed a Light Medium Tactical Vehicle, carried boxes of Meals-Ready-to-Eat, ran with heavy logs, and then took a knee to fire at their targets.

Soldiers of Company B, 1st Battalion, 66th Armor Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, observed the one-year anniversary, Feb. 13., of the hallowed event dubbed the “Bayonet Company’s House of Paine.”

“This event is designed to commemorate the late commander of the unit, Capt. Mark C. Paine, who fell in Iraq in 2006,” said 1st Lt. Adam Dortona, platoon leader, Co. B, 1-66 AR. “It was his legacy to demand absolute perfection from his men and that is what this competition sets out to foster.”

During the event, the squads conducted the strenuous physical training regimen until each member of the individual unit took their turn on the shooting portion of the course.

The squads were rated on how quickly the Soldiers finished the course, and time was deducted at the end of the event for how many successful hits were made on the target, explained Dortona.

“So it pays to be a good shot,” Dortona added.

The event took no more than five hours and instilled a sense of pride in the Soldiers for their unit, he explained.

“I feel pretty confident in our men and their ability to shoot right now,” said 1st Lt. Andrew Ziebell, executive officer, Co. B. “I liked what I saw.”

Most of the events were physically manageable until the squads hit the logs.

“Those logs must have lead in them,” commented Staff Sgt. Derek Baxter, a squad leader assigned to Co. B.

As the squads completed the series of exercises each Soldier was required to fire at a total of six targets; two of each from the standing, kneeling and prone positions.

“Being able to fire a weapon under extreme physical duress is the training objective, and it is what every infantryman should be able to do and do well,” said 1st Lt. John McNulty, a platoon leader assigned to Co. B, 1-66 AR.

Information About Mark in the News

Arlington Website:

Washington Post:

Governor's Statement:

SF Chronicle:

LA Times: